2019 - Reflections of Grace

With the rapidly approaching and inevitable inauguration of 2020 among us, I sit reflecting on not only the end of 2019, but also over the conclusion of the last two decades.

Looking back, I remember the hysteria surrounding "Y2K" and the fear that blindly led the masses to prepare for the worse (black outs, computer failures, and even the possible misfiring or automatic launch of bombs, among other things).

Although I had not considered this as a possible "worse" outcome, the most devastating event leading into the 21st century involved my mother's sudden death. In fact, since my mother passed, me and my family (like many others) faced numerous tragedies, obstacles, hardships, and unplanned events. For instance, less than two years after my mother transitioned my aunt lost a short battle with cancer. Less than thirty days from my aunt's death one of my favorite cousins died unexpectedly. 

I could continue to list all the bad things that happened from the commencement of 2000 until this time, but that would not accurately show the outcome of my reflection or why I titled this post Reflections of Grace. 

Despite all the negatives that happened, God was present in and through it all. I know that some skeptic or person currently feeling the weight of life might read this and ask, "How do you know God was present?"

So, I will answer in this manner: I know that Psalm 46:1 tells us that God is "an ever-present help in trouble," but that is NOT why I stated that God was present. As I continue to reflect, I think about how God showed up through the small acts of kindness from others. 

• When I was sad, someone sacrificed their time to just sit with me while I cried.
• When I was depressed people showed up at my house to not only encourage me, but they cleaned my house, they tended to my children, and they showed up over and over again until my spirits were lifted.
• When I was homeless people took me and my children into their homes. 
• When I had a vision to start a business people gave gifts of their time, talent, and other resources to help me get started. 
• When I failed, people encouraged me to get back up and start again. 
• When I applied to law school (at the unction of the Holy Spirit, AND, after all deadlines had passed) more than 12 people wrote letters of recommendations (I only needed 3).
• When I moved to a new city, people took me in, fed me, provided job leads, treated me with dignity and respect and welcomed me as a member of their family.
• When I started my career after a traumatic brain injury, people wrapped around me with love and support. 

I could go on and on about all the ways God extended grace to me through the loving and selfless acts of others. Grace means favor in Hebrew. But, Grace is so much more than that. Grace, as a verb, bestows honor and dignity. Grace as a spiritual element strengthens during hard times. Grace encourages revival. Grace renews and inspires righteousness. 

God's grace has kept me through some of the most challenging seasons, and I endured because of that same grace!

As 2019 ends and 2020 begins, I encourage you to acknowledge and reflect on God's grace through the smallest of acts and/or gestures. And, if you happen to be full of joy, sitting happily on the top of the mountain instead of being in the valley with those struggling through life's challenges, please take a moment to BE God's vessel in the earth by extending GRACE! May the Lord bless and keep you on your journey, KNOWING that GOD is ever-present!

Happy New Year of Life!

Blessings of Love,

Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

1. Strengthening Your Walk, Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris, Contributing Author
2. Designed for Dignity, Richard L. Pratt Jr. 
3. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero
4. Traveling Light, Max Lucado
5. The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you, Trueface, et al

Where God guides, He provides - Isaiah 58:11

Baggage & Boundaries (Part 1)

What I've learned regarding relationship is most people want partnership without commitment. However, relationship requires an investment that is more than finances, more than an emotional commitment - it's a true connection, it's spiritual. Relationship requires communication, honesty, respect and so much more. Relationships require a fortified foundation. However, far too many of us carry around baggage from relationship to relationship often stemming from a void at some point in our childhood experiences. Before engaging in relationship/partnership, one must Know thyself!
 

Marcell "The Voice" Russell's, album, "The Serenade & The Sermon" coming 2013, speaks to pure love and authentic relationship beginning with self. After an interview with Marcell regarding his album and relationship, here is what he had to say:

Honestly, in the beginning the scriptures inspired most of my music as well as wanting to address issues in my own walk with God. Then other peoples stories were a bit infused. Next were the ups & downs from a past relationship that had me question so much about my faith. Finally, Vanessa, my amazing wife inspired the last stage of writing and producing this album.

When asked to explain the components of a successful relationship Marcell stated the following:

Dating today means testing someone out sexually, emotional, etc… looking for all the guarantees before you commit. That’s a horrible way to “date” especially when sex is involved. I’m not a fan of dating without a purpose of marriage. In fact it’s no where in the bible that anyone dated, they courted only.

I think should you do two things: 

1. Work everyday to become what you would desire from someone else; it can help keep you reasonable, grounded, humble and clear in your desires 

2. Search the scriptures and grab four scriptures that define your philosophy around love, friendship and marriage. Why? So often I meet religious men and women that can’t give me or anyone one scripture that guides the way they love or befriend people. We can just often rely on our upbringing and think we learned love from the perspective of the one who created love, friendship and marriage in the first place.

Unsure of why people stay in confining, restrictive, abusive, non-beneficial relationships, Marcell says:

To be honest I cannot speak for everyone but from my minimal experience it seems we want what is most familiar more then what is best. It can take years for a person to go from being an employee to a boss or from a boss to an actual entrepreneur because we often do what was taught to us and what we are familiar with. 

It’s the same things in relationships if I was never allowed to share my true emotions in my family, if I saw very little apologizing, if I was defensive even if I was wrong, if I saw a lot of manipulation growing then I’m familiar with that. 

But, if I heard grown ups being humble, being honest about the need for affection, talking through hurts and pains, and openly expressing desires then I am familiar with that. 

It can take folks years to break out of what is familiar verses what is best, genuine and healthy.

When asked to describe what knows about himself that makes him better at being a husband he expresses the following:

Well, I think what gives me a shot at being better is I know how much I need the bible to even remotely love my wife the way I’m called to. My wife only benefits from my walk with God. Love is defined in the word so I would be a crazy man to “love” my own way when love is a God product. I have to pray a lot and read the bible, otherwise I have too many examples of conflicting views on how to love my wife…Disney movies, my parents, TV, friends, radio, r&b music, hip-hop. I work hard to stick with the one who created marriage in the first place.

Marcell shares this advice for people having a problem with boundaries in relationships:

Oh wow, discussing boundaries is very hard for me, very hard. 

I learned true love IS boundaries. Thank God I’m married because I would never date any woman with no boundaries. 

Men and women with no boundaries leave all their desires, happiness, direction etc… on someone elses shoulders and get angry when the other person hasn’t “guessed” their needs and desires correctly. People with no boundaries are reckless and abusive...that's just my perspective. 

I say all the time “expectations that are not agreed upon by the opposite party is the beginning of an abusive relationship”. If you like a woman to call you right after work but you never say it but it creates an issues in your heart at some point … that is abusive you didn’t even give her a chance to meet the need or reject it. If you like for a man to buy you flowers but you never shared that in hopes he would ask or guess without you saying “I love flowers as a gift” but you tell your girlfriends “He still hasn’t bought me flowers, you know how I feel about that” that is abusive, you never gave him the chance to accept or reject your desires. 

Now after you share the things you desire and things you don’t feel comfortable with and they still blow it off well, they are telling you what you have in my opinion. Boundaries are huge to me.

Marcell's new video "Baggage" as well as the entire album "The Serenade & The Sermon" conveys his deepest thoughts regarding baggage, boundaries and the blessings of love. 

Marcell "The Voice" Russell, thank you for your contributions to the music industry, to relationships, love, self-awareness and especially God! 

Click to learn more  Marcell Russell

Complete Women Fellowship

During the month of April, the Complete Women Fellowship will open to men each Wednesday, 9pm EST, as this series will discuss "$PIRITUAL MONEY"...how to get it, keep it and what to do with it once you have it!!!

For more information and to register: http://www.thecompletewomenfellowship.com/

Your thoughts and behaviors about, regarding and towards money will never be the same!!!

Faith and Increase through works

Many of us say we desire God's blessing or that we aspire to live according to God’s plan and purpose for our lives but we are not willing to totally surrender.  Even when we do surrender to God we are standoffish in allowing God to use us completely and totally for His purpose.

As we enter into 2012, I encourage you to submit your will to the perfect will of God…Be available!

PRAYER: God of love, maker of all things, it is my desire to be the earthly vessel that you have designed to fulfill the purpose for which you have created me.  I pray for strength and courage as I walk with purpose.  Use me as a light and servant to draw others to your love, healing, deliverance and kindness.  Use me to be my brother and my sisters keeper as I encourage them to live a life pleasing and acceptable according to your word by living as your word says I ought.  Lord, use me to stand in the gap for those who are burdened, lost and of a low countenance.  Use me to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, assist the elderly and to teach the children.  Use the gifts you imparted in me to stir up gifts in others.  In the process of using me, Lord, I pray to be made better, to be made whole, to remain humble and faithful that you may do the increase in my life and in the lives of others. In Jesus name, Amen

2012 Declarations...

I decree and declare, this is the year of increased faith

I decree and declare, increased works due to increased faith

I decree and declare, this is the year of mended families

I decree and declare, this is the year of clarity

I decree and declare, this is the year of healing of the mind, body & spirit

I decree and declare, this is the year of peace

I decree and declare, this is the year of restoration of marriages

I decree and declare, this is the year of confidence

I decree and declare, this is the year of revival for communities

I decree and declare, this is the year of unity

I decree and declare, this is the year liberty from all forms of bondage

I decree and declare, this is the year we collectively serve the enemy notice

I decree and declare, this is the year we reclaim our children

I decree and declare, this is the year we TRULY walk by faith and NOT by sight

I decree and declare, this is the year of excellent stewardship

I decree and declare, this is the year of humility

I decree and declare, this is the year of intimate relationship with God

I decree and declare, churches recovered from persecution & poor leadership

I decree and declare, this is the year of Holy boldness

I decree and declare, an outpour of God’s spirit for a new era of Holy leadership

Decree and declare increase over everything in your life, BUT know this, YOU must be willing to do the work necessary for manifestation…so fast, pray, cry and then GET TO WORK!!!

PRAYER:  Most Holy & Loving God, now that mustard seed faith has developed, I seek your face for increase regarding my faith that I may be able to do those things which you have called, purposed, designed, ordained and created me to do according to your will.  Lord I pray for the courage and boldness to walk out my life with purpose and I release any and all unrest, uncertainty, fear and doubt into your hands.  Lord, speak to my heart and order our steps that I walk in faith living according to the mandates of your word.  In Jesus name, Amen