2019 - Reflections of Grace

With the rapidly approaching and inevitable inauguration of 2020 among us, I sit reflecting on not only the end of 2019, but also over the conclusion of the last two decades.

Looking back, I remember the hysteria surrounding "Y2K" and the fear that blindly led the masses to prepare for the worse (black outs, computer failures, and even the possible misfiring or automatic launch of bombs, among other things).

Although I had not considered this as a possible "worse" outcome, the most devastating event leading into the 21st century involved my mother's sudden death. In fact, since my mother passed, me and my family (like many others) faced numerous tragedies, obstacles, hardships, and unplanned events. For instance, less than two years after my mother transitioned my aunt lost a short battle with cancer. Less than thirty days from my aunt's death one of my favorite cousins died unexpectedly. 

I could continue to list all the bad things that happened from the commencement of 2000 until this time, but that would not accurately show the outcome of my reflection or why I titled this post Reflections of Grace. 

Despite all the negatives that happened, God was present in and through it all. I know that some skeptic or person currently feeling the weight of life might read this and ask, "How do you know God was present?"

So, I will answer in this manner: I know that Psalm 46:1 tells us that God is "an ever-present help in trouble," but that is NOT why I stated that God was present. As I continue to reflect, I think about how God showed up through the small acts of kindness from others. 

• When I was sad, someone sacrificed their time to just sit with me while I cried.
• When I was depressed people showed up at my house to not only encourage me, but they cleaned my house, they tended to my children, and they showed up over and over again until my spirits were lifted.
• When I was homeless people took me and my children into their homes. 
• When I had a vision to start a business people gave gifts of their time, talent, and other resources to help me get started. 
• When I failed, people encouraged me to get back up and start again. 
• When I applied to law school (at the unction of the Holy Spirit, AND, after all deadlines had passed) more than 12 people wrote letters of recommendations (I only needed 3).
• When I moved to a new city, people took me in, fed me, provided job leads, treated me with dignity and respect and welcomed me as a member of their family.
• When I started my career after a traumatic brain injury, people wrapped around me with love and support. 

I could go on and on about all the ways God extended grace to me through the loving and selfless acts of others. Grace means favor in Hebrew. But, Grace is so much more than that. Grace, as a verb, bestows honor and dignity. Grace as a spiritual element strengthens during hard times. Grace encourages revival. Grace renews and inspires righteousness. 

God's grace has kept me through some of the most challenging seasons, and I endured because of that same grace!

As 2019 ends and 2020 begins, I encourage you to acknowledge and reflect on God's grace through the smallest of acts and/or gestures. And, if you happen to be full of joy, sitting happily on the top of the mountain instead of being in the valley with those struggling through life's challenges, please take a moment to BE God's vessel in the earth by extending GRACE! May the Lord bless and keep you on your journey, KNOWING that GOD is ever-present!

Happy New Year of Life!

Blessings of Love,

Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

1. Strengthening Your Walk, Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris, Contributing Author
2. Designed for Dignity, Richard L. Pratt Jr. 
3. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero
4. Traveling Light, Max Lucado
5. The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you, Trueface, et al

Where God guides, He provides - Isaiah 58:11

A Bleeding Heart

Senses heightened as my chest tightens and I struggle to grasp what went wrong. Same sadness exacerbated by years of familiarity. Why do I allow you to rip my heart from my chest over and over and over again? Why do I trust you, believe you, listen to you, follow you; allowing my movements and thoughts to be persuaded by you?

The sound of you rings sweetly in my ears. Why would I think you are preparing to consume me with your fire? How would I know your steps are masterfully calculated to devour me?

I hear the alarms sounding wildly in the echoes of the wind; still I allow you inside my deep stirring energy? You feed me blue skies and beautiful rays of sun so why would I consider you as the darkness that withdraws the moon from my midnight?

Optimistically I search for you with the smile of ten thousand children feeding at the bosom of a gentle, warm, and nurturing mother. Why would I consider your hand as one that would choke life from me?

You skillfully allure me with your charm and grace. Your strength weakens me, but no, I had not considered you a venomous poison. Why would I see a sly fox when behind your eyes is the source of life?

You entice me with your persistent pursuit of my attention. Curiously I pause to explore your chase. Your enchanting sway delights me to deliver the fabric of my being to your feet and await instructions. Passionately I pursue you, but why would I anticipate your withdrawal? Why would I think you would leave me alone, hungering after you?  

As blissfully as love enters, it retreats leaving me with a bleeding heart. The same one that builds and breathes life is the same destroyer that steals the innocence of my love leaving me with a bleeding heart. Though I build my resistance to love, the gift giver constantly and creatively encourages me to invite love in beyond my bleeding heart.

So shall it be.

The Facade: At Odds With God

POEM

This is not a facade,

Yes, I truly love my God,

But my skin,

This flesh filled with sin,

Is always at odds with my God

No, it is not God's desire

That my soul should perish in the lake of fire,

He sent His son Jesus Christ the Messiah,

So that we could come to know Him - Go higher,

Rising above our sinful nature

But even with mercy and grace

I still find myself bound by guilt and shame,

What a contradiction, such a disgrace,

Especially since I have an agonizing distaste,

A distaste for the enemy of my soul,

And certainly because God says so,

I'm worth more than diamonds, rubies and gold

Why then do I feel the need to sell my soul,

Bleeding continuously as the truth unfolds,

The enemy believes in casting doubt,

Doubt beginning with my own fears,

He feeds on my anxiety

This is the facade that over shadows our society

My sobriety begins where my love ends,

And my growing hate paves way for revenge

But with whom do I fight

Does the enemy have me bound and at odds

Or is it the distortion of truth fueling my own hidden agenda against my God

Now THAT my love, is the true revealing of a life long facade

"We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, 

but against the rulers, against the authorities, 

against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, 

against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" 

~ Ephesians 6:12

All to often, many of us feel trapped, confused, frustrated, lost or as if we are fighting against ourselves but I want to remind you that you are God's best! Facades are the working of the enemy to cloud your mind and your vision of self.  We all question our existence, our purpose, our failures and we even feel like we are at odds with God. It's okay to question -- introspection is good for your growth. So take time to look in the mirror of life as well as your own reflection, take the mask off and get real with where you are. If you are hurting, acknowledge it...whatever you feel, recognize it and remember: what's healthy is seeing, hearing, feeling and dealing but what derails is running, hiding, ignoring and down playing. I love you but God loves you best!

PRAYER:

Jehovah Jireh, supplier of every need, step into my heart. Expose dark places within me. Enter into my fears and cast them out. Make my failures useful for Your purpose. Cleanse even my reflection so that when I look at myself, I see the evidence of You in all Your splendor. Open my hears to Your soft whispers. Help me to stand with You and not be defensively at odds with You. I want to know You in the beauty of Holiness. Receive me into the shadows of Your wings and cast shadows of doubt and sins residue into the sea of forget fullness. In the precious name of Christ the Messiah I pray with faith, Amen

Faith and Increase through works

Many of us say we desire God's blessing or that we aspire to live according to God’s plan and purpose for our lives but we are not willing to totally surrender.  Even when we do surrender to God we are standoffish in allowing God to use us completely and totally for His purpose.

As we enter into 2012, I encourage you to submit your will to the perfect will of God…Be available!

PRAYER: God of love, maker of all things, it is my desire to be the earthly vessel that you have designed to fulfill the purpose for which you have created me.  I pray for strength and courage as I walk with purpose.  Use me as a light and servant to draw others to your love, healing, deliverance and kindness.  Use me to be my brother and my sisters keeper as I encourage them to live a life pleasing and acceptable according to your word by living as your word says I ought.  Lord, use me to stand in the gap for those who are burdened, lost and of a low countenance.  Use me to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, assist the elderly and to teach the children.  Use the gifts you imparted in me to stir up gifts in others.  In the process of using me, Lord, I pray to be made better, to be made whole, to remain humble and faithful that you may do the increase in my life and in the lives of others. In Jesus name, Amen