Turning Pain into Peace: How Time Can Heal Our Deepest Wounds

Maybe time does not heal “all” wounds, but WITH time, wounds “can” heal.

It’s been almost 25 years since my mother transitioned from this life, and nearly 40 years since my father passed away. I remember those early days when even the thought of them would leave me frozen—unable to move or process my pain. The grief was suffocating. I missed them so much that it felt unbearable. I longed for their presence and hated the reality of living without them. But over the years, something shifted. Through moments of stillness, healing, and creating new neural pathways, I’ve learned to coexist with the memories. Now, when I think of them or dream about them, I can smile. I can sit with the memories, fully present, and cherish the love we shared. Sometimes tears still fall, but they no longer leave me feeling stuck. Instead, they bring gratitude. 

I once dreamed of owning a home where my mother could grow old while I cared for her. That dream is not my reality. But what I’ve discovered is that I carry my parents with me—always. They are part of me, in my thoughts, my dreams, and the way I live my life. 

For years, I used to get upset whenever I heard the phrase, “Time heals all wounds.” It felt dismissive of my pain. But now, I’ve come to understand that with time, wounds can heal. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or moving on—it means learning to honor the love and the loss, while also choosing to move forward with hope. 

To You, the Reader:  

If you’re in a tough place right now—feeling hopeless about your future or overwhelmed by your grief—I want to remind you of something important: you are not alone. Pause for a moment. Place your hand over your heart. Take a deep breath and feel the life within you. Grief and wounds can feel endless, but they don’t define your future. Healing is possible, but it requires patience, courage, and a willingness to take small steps forward. 

Here are some gentle suggestions:

1. Consider counseling or therapy. Having someone to guide you through the process can make all the difference. 

 2. Incorporate meditation or mindfulness practices. These can help you sit with your feelings, process them, and find peace. There are wonderful, guided meditations available to help you get started. 

 3. Nurture all parts of yourself: 

• If your spirit is calling, try prayer, spend time in nature, or join a supportive faith-based or spiritual group. 
  
  
•  If your mind needs care, journal to organize your thoughts, listen to calming music, or engage in creative outlets like art or dance. 
  
  
• If your body is seeking attention, focus on nourishing foods, gentle movements like yoga or Tai Chi, or simply allow yourself extra rest. 

Above all, be patient and gracious with yourself. Healing is a journey—not a race. It’s okay to take it one day, or even one moment, at a time. 

Reflection Questions 

§  What would it look like for you to take one small step toward healing today?

§  How can you honor your emotions while also creating space for hope?

§  Who in your life can offer you support or encouragement right now? 

Closing & Encouragement

You are not alone. You are loved. Healing is possible. And though the journey may be hard, I know firsthand that wounds do heal. 

With love and gratitude,

 Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris