Do It Scared!

Have you ever felt your stomach in knots at the thought of your first airplane ride? Or maybe the idea of having your first child as a result of an unplanned pregnancy, giving a big speech, or leaving home for college? Fear has a way of creeping in when we stand at the edge of something new and unknown.

Today, I was talking to my oldest sibling about all the things I’ve done while being scared—and all the things I let slip through my fingers because I was afraid.

In the fall of 2000, I took my first airplane ride out of the country—not just to another state, but to Jamaica. The moment that plane started moving, I panicked. I stood up, summoned the flight attendant, and declared, “I changed my mind. I don’t want to fly. If God wanted me to fly, He would have given me wings.” She thought I was joking—until she saw the look on my face.

Thankfully, my friend (who I’m convinced has the gift of talking people off ledges) stepped in. She asked the stewardess to bring two glasses of red wine, one for me and one for my younger sister, who was also on her first flight. Now, it wasn’t even drink service time, but I think the stewardess saw the panic in my eyes and decided she wasn’t about to let me derail that plane. After some praying, a little wine, and a lot of deep breathing, I made it through that flight. And now? Planes still give me a little anxiety, but I’ve flown across the country and internationally more than 20 times. I still do it scared.

• I ziplined in Mazatlán despite being terrified of heights.
• I went back to law school after being uninvited the first time.
• I started businesses even when I wasn’t sure how they’d turn out.
• I was a 16-year-old pregnant high school student—and I still pursued higher education.
• I was a non-traditional mother of three, toting around kids 7 and under while attending junior college.

But here’s the other side of that story—there were things I was scared of that I didn’t do.

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, I had the chance at a high-paying job. Someone saw my potential even when I didn’t. I went back and forth, doubting whether I was qualified, questioning if I was “good enough.” By the time I mustered the courage to apply, the deadline had passed. I had let fear rob me of an opportunity.

Fear Is a Silent Killer!

If we’re not careful, fear will whisper lies:

• You’re not ready.
• You don’t know enough.
• You might fail.
• People will see you fall.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

If you can quiet the inner chatter long enough to take even one step, that one step can shatter the invisible wall of fear.

• It takes courage to step on stage when your legs are trembling.
• It takes guts to write, publish, and sell your books.
• It takes grit to be a first-generation college graduate, navigating uncharted waters.
• It takes resilience to start a business after previous ventures didn’t work out.
• And yes—people might see you fail. But they’ll also see you get back up.

Last night, I attended Shen Yun at the Phoenix Symphony Hall. It was breathtaking—classical ballet, vocal performances, and a solo instrumentalist. It took me back to my years at Morgan State University, where I was classically trained in vocal performance under the late, great Dr. Nathan Carter and Dr. Eric Conway.

I had no formal training in reading sheet music before Morgan—I just loved music. Most of my peers had been training since childhood, while I struggled to learn this new language. But I didn’t let that stop me. With the encouragement of Mrs. Audrey McCallum, Dr. Samuel Springer, Mrs. Valerie Thompson, and Dr. James Lee, I stuck with it. Oh, I cannot forget my other peeps like Ra'etta, Tom-Tom, Sharlene, Robin, and Jedda. We were quite a team and really supported one another through tough times. Studying music is NOT for the faint at heart!

So here’s my message to you:

• Learn something new. 
• Travel somewhere new. 
• Say yes to opportunities that make you nervous.
• Step into spaces that feel too big for you.

Fear will show up. It always does. But do it anyway. Some opportunities come once in a lifetime, while others are yours to keep trying at—over and over again—until you master them.

With love and confidence, 

Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris

Coaching and Peer Support

If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey of self-discovery and healing, I invite you to explore coaching and peer support. I would be honored to walk with you on this journey. As a certified Peer and Recovery Support Specialist, mindfulness and self-healing coach, experienced author, and speaker, I bring a wealth of personal and professional experience, as well as educational aptitude, to guide you. My approach is rooted in empathy, understanding, and a commitment to helping you embrace your full potential. 

Please visit my Coaching and Peer Support website for more information and to connect with me.

Disclaimer

I am not a doctor or licensed therapist. My work is rooted in faith, self-healing, and mindfulness, and I offer support as a peer and coach. I am unapologetically a woman of faith, a disciple of Christ, and committed to the divine mandate to uplift and inspire others.

Notice/Disclaimer

This essay contains the original thoughts of Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris and is protected by copyright law. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or use of this work in any form without the express written consent of the author is strictly prohibited.

Thank you for respecting the creative integrity of this piece!