Leaving Familiar

Facing Fear and Embracing Growth

Over the weekend, I experienced a breakthrough—and came face to face with a fear I thought I had conquered.

First, the breakthrough. I attended a Women’s Spiritual Education and Wellness Workshop and met some amazing women (and men—side note: lately, every event I attend with men present, they are there in full support, affirming and serving women, secure in their manhood, and walking in servant leadership. Different story for a different day, but I see y’all, and I honor, respect, and appreciate you. I’ve felt safe!).

Back to the story…

I was up at the butt crack of dawn and at the event by 7:45 AM. Since I was there as a vendor for work, I started setting up—table, signs, registration materials, the usual. At first, I just observed, like anyone in a new space. I greeted people, held doors for elders, and took in the energy of the space. The women I met were incredibly kind, especially the one who invited us to vend. Once everything was in place, I wondered if we could join the workshop sessions. I decided to ask—and to my surprise, my colleague and I were welcomed with open arms.

What we experienced was a room full of intelligent, God-fearing, gentle giants—leaders, changemakers, and women shaping their communities in powerful ways. And in that space, I was reminded of my own gifts, talents, and experiences. I even found myself reflecting on things I hadn’t thought about in years—like the time I sang at the inaugural World Sickle Cell Day event at the United Nations in Manhattan over a decade ago.

When I shared that with my colleague, she laughed and said, "Wow, I keep learning so many new things about you. You have a plethora of experiences and knowledge."

Lessons Reinforced Through This Experience:

1. Speak up or you won’t be heard. Closed mouths don’t get fed. I would have missed a blessing if I hadn’t asked to join in.
   
   
2. Serving with an open heart isn’t weakness; it’s strength. Giving to others doesn’t diminish you—it enriches you.
   
   
3. Connections are valuable and vital. They feed the soul, but only if we truly plug in—not just to take, but to be present and pour into each other.

Coming Face to Face with Fear

Arizona was never a place I imagined living, but I’m here now. And even when I feel like shrinking back to what’s familiar, there’s a voice that keeps whispering: "STAY. Be still and know…"

After the event, instead of catching a ride or an Uber, I decided to explore South Phoenix on foot. And by “explore,” I mean I walked. And walked. And walked. Almost eight miles, to be exact.

At one point, I reached a bridge under construction. Wooden beams. Bolts. Not exactly reassuring. I paused, analyzing whether it was safe to cross.

Thinking back, I must have looked real suspicious to passersby—walking a few steps forward, stopping, looking around, considering crossing the street to find another way, then turning back. Each time, I went a little farther before retreating to "safety."

Finally, I decided: Just run across and get it over with!

The Infamous Bridge: A Crossroads of Fear and Growth

I ran the first eight steps, then slowed to a cautious walk. I looked back. Looked over the side. Considered turning around. But in the end, I kept going. It was the longest bridge I’ve walked in a long time. I thought I had overcome my fear of heights—I mean, I’ve hiked mountains, flown on planes, even gone zip-lining! But in that moment, fear gripped me. The old hesitation was still there. 

When I reached the other side, I stopped, exhaled, and patted myself on the back. I could have turned around and walked an extra two and a half miles to avoid that bridge, but I didn’t. And then it hit me—this was bigger than a bridge.

Leaving the Comfort Zone

One of my favorite books, The Dream Giver by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, talks about how an "Ordinary Person" must leave a place of comfort to step into something greater. And once you step out, you’re immediately met with resistance—doubt, fear, even "bullies" trying to pull you back.

Crossing that bridge reminded me that despite how hard it is to leave familiar places and push past limiting beliefs, it’s necessary for growth.

And well, for me, it’s hard being over 1,000 miles away from everything I’ve ever known. But if I go back, am I trusting the plan God has for my life?

        So, I told myself:

• I can visit the familiar, but I cannot live there.
• I cannot return out of fear.
• The next level will stretch me, and that’s okay.

Leaving the familiar requires launching into the unknown. It requires crossing bridges—even when fear tells you to turn back. 

This weekend, I faced a bridge—literally and figuratively—and I crossed it. With two more 5K races for my 505050 Campaign ahead, I plan to cross two more.

The Other Side of Fear

Cheers! See you on the other side!

Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris