Two sides of self...

During our daily prayer calls we discuss being naked and transparent so that we can get to a place of total freedom being TRULY delivered from strongholds, wrong thinking, false sense of self, generational curses, soul ties and the like. 

Everyday I rise open to whatever God wants to do in my life and even when I don't want to be honest I have to be. Searching the two sides of self fairs as essential.

When I do not desire to talk about my dirty places or the pain I am in I still have to do it.  Why? Because I want complete and total freedom.  I seek deliverance for myself and my family just as I seek the same for each of you and your families. In order to acquire that freedom I must be willing to see and know myself totally...even the dark places.

Everyday the mirror reflects opposing sides of the two sides of self.  It seems I am up one day and down the next.  I feel like a champion one day and less than a conqueror the next. 

I smile through pain and my tears are my prayers.  I am not a quitter but I quit at least five times a day.  I lay down to rest and my sleep is broken.  I wonder who really cares...thinking, all I do is care for others but whose care is authentic for me?  Then I begin wondering if I should stop caring...asking myself if anyone will even notice.  I feel like such a small piece in this hugely baked pie called life.  I ask myself what's worth living for and if what I do matters. 

I look at my family and wonder when things will change.  I look at the wars, rapes, abuses, over filled jails, prostitution, broken families, drug addicts, thugs, pimps, down low men, scheming gold digging females, churches, leadership, government and I wonder "will things ever change"?

I strive to be kind even when others are not so kind to me.  I get angry but work diligently to think good thoughts for it is NOT my desire to act as others do, viciously tearing one another down.  Although, I must admit, I am just as much capable of destructive behaviors and violence as the next person.

However, just because I yearn to do right does not mean my thoughts always reflect what I desire in my heart...but still everyday I choose! Choosing is also exploring two sides of self.  My heart speaks and seeks life, love and peace but my mind says kill...it says "its okay to take revenge" although I know the word specifically tells me that vengeance belongs to God.

Sometimes I want to take matters into my own hands...I want to take my life into my own hands but then I have those scriptures that have been placed in my Spiritual treasure chest to remind me to:

Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding ~ Proverbs 3:5

And still other scriptures that tell me that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me ~ Philippians 4:13

Why then do I feel like I am being conquered and overcome by the world? Why can't I just quit? I have to will myself to choose to die to the one side of self that is destructive and negative.

Then I hear whispers in my Spirit  telling me to remember:
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; remembering that He shall bring forth those things that He has spoken to me regarding my life. ~ Psalm 37:5

I remind myself to:

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:14

I tell myself:
The joy of the Lord is my strength ~ Nehemiah 8:10

In essence, I tell myself, both sides of self, each day to stand down in the flesh and stand up in the Spirit...letting the Spirit of God rise in me that His glory may be revealed.  I have to know who I am, where I came from, what's in me and what's in my family bloodline so I can understand where I am going, how I have come to be as I am and what God desires to remove as well as build.

So, I stand encouraging you to ask the tough questions hidden within the deepest places of your hearts.  Look at both sides of yourself...the good and the not so good.  Look at what is at peace and where you feel tormented.  Do not be afraid to look at the Man/Woman in the mirror and get naked so God can begin to unearth all that is within...molding you into His desired thought of who He created you to be.  Do not grow weary or fear the pain of the pruning process but instead, trust in the Lord!
 

 

SPEAK THESE SCRIPTURES OUT LOUD OVER YOUR LIFE:

“Every word of God is pure:
he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”

~ Proverbs 30:5

“The LORD is my rock, and my fortress,
and my deliverer; my God, my strength,

in whom I will trust; my buckler,
and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”

~ Psalm 18:2
 

“The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; 

and he knoweth them that trust in him.”

~ Nahum 1:7
 

“As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is tried:

he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”

~ 2 Samuel 22:31

 

 "In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust;

I will not fear what flesh can do unto me"

~ Psalm 56:3 , 4
 

 

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, 
whose mind is stayed on thee:

because he trusteth in thee.”

~ Isaiah 26:3

“For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach,

because we trust in the living God,

who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe.”

~ 1 Timothy 4:10

PRAYER:
Holy and Loving God, thank You for Your grace and mercy.  Lord, I pray for every eye that reads this post that you will prick their hearts to be open to coming clean about the dark places within.  Lord I pray that we as individuals, families, communities and nations would come to a place of openness, being ready to acknowledge our issues, faults, flaws, problems and frustrations so that You God may not only reveal Your glory but help us to see the error of our ways. 

We know that You have redeemed our ancestors and Lord we seek for You to redeem us as Your beloved, chosen people.  Lord I pray that we stop running and hiding like Jonah did.  I pray that we will sit still long enough for you not only to heal and restore at the surface but at the core of who we are.  I pray Lord God that as the freedom You desire for us is availed to us that we would turn and share with others that they too may come to the place of total liberation in their minds, bodies and spirits. 

I plead the blood of Jesus over every eye asking you to protect ear gates, eye gates,  mouth gates and sexual gates from this moment forward. I ask Lord that You gird each person and their families with the full armor; helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, sword of the spirit which is Your word God, gird their waist with Your truth and shod their feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace.

I rebuke nagging and tormenting spirits that remind us of the old us.  I pray that those spirits are freed and released from their assignment and can by no means further impact the eyes of the one who reads this post or their household, in the name of Jesus.  I pray Lord that You send those spirits to the place where You see fit and that they not return. 

I pray that you fortify our hearts individually and collectively and that we become a people of greater conviction and commitment for Your word as well as a people of deep compassion.  I release the two sides of self of each person reading this post into Your hands Lord for You to have Your way doing what You see fit.  Break us to build us, In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen