Embracing Me is an opportunity for us to connect with ourselves...learning to embrace the God within. The post that I share with you are very real. The experiences of my life (whether good, bad or indifferent) sought to develop me into a Woman who honors the God that dwells inside of me.

For over 10 years I fought against sharing my life's experiences with the world but I also neglected to fully share my gifts. You may ask why I denied myself to live and the answer is fear! After relinquishing the fear of my own thoughts as well as the thoughts of others I have decided to do and be all that God has ordained. He chose me to share my testimonies through songs, poetry, short stories and encouraging words.

I invite you to travel with me as I journey into yet another fearful place, seeking to please the Father while providing healing, restoration and inspiration as chosen. It is my hope that these words will improve your daily living.

My charge to you: Think Well. Do Well. Speak Well. Be Well. Live Well.

"For as the rain and snow come down from the heavens, and return not there again, but water the earth and make it bring forth and sprout, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth: it shall not return to Me void but it shall accomplish that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." - Isaiah 55:10-11

Sunday, January 30, 2011

He Makes Me Wanna Scream

Sometime in the not so distant past I found myself in a very real physical disposition that made me want to yell and scream.  Now four years later there is a new sound…a new scream.  Take a walk with me as I share this transformation.

 “He Makes Me Wanna Scream”
He grabbed the back of my neck with his left hand, pulling me close.  Kissing first my right ear whispering the words, “I love you and I want to be with you tonight”.  Slowly moving from my ear, to my cheek, finally his lips met mine all the while never releasing his right hand from my waist.  Passionately pressing his lips against mine guiding our bodies towards the bed, he ran his hand down my thigh and I gasped yearning for relief from the fire burning deep within.  

My body was tense with anticipation but my mind tried to reason. “He doesn’t really love you.  His only desire is for the moment” were the words that entertained my thoughts, as his hand disappeared in a dense ocean.  Before I knew it I couldn’t catch my breath.  Tears rolled down my face towards my ears as I lay on my back whimpering with pleasure and pain.  

He whispered, “Do you want me to stop” but I couldn’t answer.  Adjusting his position, he reared back slightly, asking me to open my eyes and look at him.  When my eyes met his, he asked again sternly, “Do you want me to stop”.  I shook my head and murmured, “No, please don’t stop”.  He reached up and began to wipe the tears from my eyes as he gently caressed my womanly cave.  Finally, my body began to convulse and I was escalating into an explosive erotica.  I never dreamed of giving in to this man or allowing him to invade my sacred walls but here I lay totally under his reign, captivated by his love.  Or was it lust?

As you read this you may wonder, “Why would this woman of God share such explicit details of an intimate encounter?  Why would she dangle such tantalizing things, charging our minds to reflect or possibly tempt the weak flesh”? In all honesty, I fought with God about sharing not just this experience but ESPECIALLY exposing this moment from my past.  It was a time of extreme vulnerability.   

With more than eight years lacking intimate involvement with a man, God delivered me from one situation by shaking me out of my sleep one night saying, “Come out!  I have a husband for you”.  I woke, startled and afraid as God pierced my soul asking me to walk with him in faith.  He wanted me to totally trust Him.  God gave instructions for me to leave my relationship and allow Him time to heal me.  He wanted nothing more but to mend the broken pieces of my life.  God had no desire to continue watching as I ran in fear, never living a moment at peace, knowing I was safe.  So He asked if He could be the one to love me for a while.  

My responses were, “How could I give up my relationship?  How could I hurt someone I loved so deeply by walking away from them?  How could I start over”?  I was ashamed of where I was, hesitant and afraid of this scary place and even more afraid to let go.

But now four years later as I look upon this same scenario I see how God transformed me playing the role of my “NEW MAN”.  He grabs me each day pulling and holding me close to His bosom letting me know that He loves me.  He stays with me each night wrapping His arms around me.  He kisses me gently and guides daily through each day.  God ignites a passion and desire to seek Him more and more every day. 

However, there are times when anxiety settles in and I question and even reject the thought that He truly does love me.  It sometimes feels that he is only there for a moment but God dives deep into the core of my soul stirring all manner of thoughts of my past, present and even shedding light on the future He designed and desires for me.  Though I know there will be times of pleasure, I am certain that my walk in faith will most assuredly be met with pain.  

When the going gets tough and I want to stop God reminds me that He loves me.  He sends confirmations of His love in the wind, the rain, the air, and my children.  He is always a gentleman, never rushing me.  Instead, he meets me where I am.  God adjusts His position making sure He is always able to see me and that I can vividly see Him.   When I realize He’s looking I am again overwhelmed.  I made the choice to be naked before God.  I decided to give Him my all when I surrendered my mind, body and spirit to Him.  Still He wipes my tears, providing security in His loving kindness and protection. 

As with the man in the not so distant past, I never dreamed of giving God my all or allowing him to invade my sacred walls but here I lay totally under his reign, captivated by his love.  There is certainly no lust here. 
When you find yourself in a place of vulnerability, be forgiving of self and when God finds you in a place of vulnerability, be open to His love.  Surrender all and remember, He knows you in the MOST intimate way.

“I keep awake and watch and pray constantly,
that I may not enter into temptation;
the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak”
– Mark 14:38

“I trust lean on, rely on, and am confident in the Lord and do good; so shall I dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly I shall be fed.  I delight myself in the Lord, and He gives me the desires and secret petitions of my heart…trust lean on, rely on, and am confident also in Him and He will bring it to pass.
– Psalm 37:3-5

“But if we hope for that we see not,
then do we with patience wait for it”
Romans 8:25

“I cast the whole of my care all my anxieties, all my worries, all my concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for me affectionately and cares about me watchfully”
– Peter 5:7

Other Suggested Scriptures:
Isaiah 48:6-7
Isaiah 55:11
Jeremiah 1:12

Thursday, January 27, 2011


“Wind beneath My Wings”

Just when I thought that I had accomplished in the air that which
I took flight to accomplish…
Just when I thought it was time to land…
I hovered over the ground for landing…
But could not land to receive the fueling necessary for continuing…

I called to those on the ground and the air but no one came to my aid…
Just when I thought I was all out of fuel…
A wind blew strong, carrying me a little higher off the ground…
I was going in a direction that I didn’t want to go in…
and that was HIGHER…for I THOUGHT I was out of fuel…

But this larger unknown plane, connected to my right…
A second larger plane, connected to my left…
And between the harder stronger winds and the two planes...
I went higher than I ever thought I would…
And I flew longer than I thought I could…

Just when I thought it was time to land...
God showed up as the wind beneath my wings...
Encamping Angels all around me...
Refueling me for an even greater mission...
Lifting me higher than I’ve ever gone before...

Now I am set to soar for eternity...
For the Master lives inside of me...
Lord, I thank you for your grace...
But Lord, PLEASE continue to have mercy.

“Hitting the scary edge of you Comfort Zone again and again proves that you’re a Dreamer on the move toward your Dream”
- The Dream Giver, Bruce Wilkinson

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
- Phillipians 4:19

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
 – Psalm 143:8

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The True Killer

“The True Killer…is FEAR”

We all know and understand the impact of guns, knives and bombs.  These instruments are used to harm and even destroy lives.  Heart disease, diabetes and various cancers claims millions of lives as well but FEAR ranks dreadfully high amongst the top killers. 

Fear can take away your breath, stifling your ability to respond in “fight or flight” situations.  Some psychologists suggest that fear is connected to our innate ability to perceive things such as pain or the threat of danger.  Fears are connected to our emotions and create anxieties, worry and stress.  Fear not only helps you to respond to dangerous situations but fear kills dreams and visions.  

Monday, January 24, 2011, I had an awakening about the fears that seek to destroy and eradicate my life.  Quite literally, they are killing me.  On the onset, you may say, “killing you” and my response is, “yes, I’m dying because of my fears”.   For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of owning my own business.  I dreamed of traveling the world.  I dreamed of writing books of short stories and poetry.  I dreamed of singing and talking to people, encouraging them to live and be who they were created to be.  I dreamed of building a dynasty that would out live my thoughts and carry on for generations to come.  I dreamed of being the best mother, sister, aunt, daughter and friend that I could be.  I dreamed of loving people deeply beyond their flaws and my own. 

Why do my DREAMS have “ED” on the end...because at some point I began to fear I was dreaming impossible dreams.  However, it was Monday that brought me to the realization that I allowed and still allow my fears to guide my path.  Well, it was also Monday that I made the decision NOT to die.  With all the other killers in the world, I certainly don’t have to allow fear to be the one that kills me.  I am determined to BE all that God called and created me to be and fear no longer has a place in my thinking or my living.  I encourage you to take time and read “The Dream Giver” by Bruce Wilkinson.  This book will open your heart to all that you have allowed to die inside of you due to fear.  It will inspire you to act on your dreams.  

“No human eye can effectively evaluate your potential or your purpose(s), so seek NOT the validation of others, rather, live purposefully without fear”.

“For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”
Psalm 116:8-9

Can't Give Up Now- Mary Mary

Monday, January 24, 2011


"Yes I Did It"

No matter how many years pass, I clearly hear the voice of my mother saying, "If you don't want any regrets than don't do things that will make you have them...AND, if by chance you mess up, make a bad decision or you get to a place in your life where you JUST DON'T CARE, than accept responsibility for every choice you make and live life with no regrets".

Today as I reflect on the many choices I have made in my life, (and trust me) there are many things that I am not proud of but I'm not afraid to admit that I did them.  I'm sure that much like me; others have wrestled with the thoughts of a purpose-less life so suicide was an option at some point.  I'm certain that I wasn't the only teenager that tried smoking the cigarette butts from my mother’s ashtray.  I'm not the only one that has become so irritated that irrational decisions were made...some, where jail could have been the end result.  I'm positive that I am not the only young woman who lacked self-esteem and self-respect which left me seeking validation between the sheets.  I know for sure I'm not the first, last or only teenage mother.  I'm not the only one who had a failed marriage due to insecurities, lack of trust and infidelities.  I'm not the only one who believed in the fairy tale lifestyle.  In fact, some women are still waiting on that knight in shining amour and the men are awaiting Cinderella's arrival.

Meditation and reflections are important to growth.  Take a moment, or several moments each week and consider where you’ve been and where you are currently.  In doing this you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your mistakes.  Hopefully you aren’t still making the same mistakes again and again but if by chance you are, reflections help you to see what you need to do or stop doing to grow.  They also help you to gain confidence in who you are becoming and why your life is important.  Your eyes are open to clearly see situations as they really were and not as you perceived them in the moment.  It gives you an opportunity to admit to yourself that you hurt someone or that someone hurt you.  Hopefully, you reflect often enough to apologize to people whom you’ve wronged before it’s too late.  

Don’t run from your past.  Embrace each moment as an opportunity to grow. I employ each of you to live life to the fullest each day and do it with no regrets!!!

May your heart and mind be open to reflections of the past in order to bring stability to the present and meaning to your future. - SJWH

Listen as Wisdom calls out!
Hear as understanding raises her voice!
On the hilltop along the road,
She takes her stand at the crossroads.
By the gates at the entrance to the town,
On the road leading in, she cries aloud,
I call to you, to all of you!
I raise my voice to all people.
You simple people, use good judgment.
You foolish people, show some understanding.
Listen to me! For I have important things to tell you.
Everything I say is right, for I speak the truth
And detest every kind of deception.
My advice is wholesome.
There is nothing devious or crooked in it.
My words are plain to anyone with understanding,
Clear to those with knowledge.
Choose my instruction rather than silver,
And knowledge rather than pure gold.
For wisdom is far more valuable than rubies.
Nothing you desire can compare with it.
I, Wisdom, live together with good judgment
- Proverbs 8:1-12

*NOTE: Scripture taken from the New Living Translation of the Bible