Not Free until broken...

While lying in the bed this morning I had a gentle reminder of a meditation shared on the prayer line in November of 2011 and again June 2012. My first thought was, “Why? Why broken?” and I heard this, “Pressure means God desires to pull something out in order to pour something greater in”.  I smiled at the thought and took a glance over my life remembering pressures have always produced something greater in me – FAITH – a steadfastness and persistence that I cannot describe with words. Sadness, remorse, frustration, need, the appearance of emptiness and even anger causes me to search for a truth beyond what my eyes can see and even beyond what my heart feels.  Brokenness causes me to introspectively study myself – the “why I do what I do”. 

As I continued laying, thinking, meditating, praying and questioning, the Spirit of the Lord spoke back to me saying:

Where is your humility?

Where is your praise?

Where is your faith?

Where is your hope?

Where is your trust?


Again I ask you, where is your praise?

Where is your lowliness?

Where is your determination?

Where is your steadfastness?

Where is your joy?


Where is your love?

Where is your heart?

Your praise, where is your praise?

Where is your mind?

Where is your forgiveness?


Where is your fasting?

Where is your worship?

Where is your focus?

Where is your honor?

Where is your press?


To whom does all glory belong? 

As I continued lying there, listening, receiving, being ministered to, I heard this:

“Where, where, where, oh where are all these things? Let me tell you where they are: they are tied up. They are bound – all desiring to be free, right now, in this moment, at the same time. But you cannot be loosed and freed standing in your own might, hardened, turned away, seeking wholeness in that which is not from The Whole. You cannot avoid my will for your life because “LIFE” keeps happening. You cannot turn these things on and off. 

Surrender your heart and all your thoughts to me again this day. Allow your brokenness – be it your broken heart, your broken thoughts, your broken body, your broken family, your broken finances, your broken vision, your broken state of being – surrender and allow me, your God, the one who loves you, to mend your brokenness! Your brokenness, your vulnerability, your weaknesses, keeps YOU coming to me for guidance. They keep you reliant and dependent on me and not dependent on the world, its systems, order or functions – neither dependent on your humanness.  

Nothing – not your faith, your love, peace, joy, hope, worship, praise – NOTHING will be freed, released, set free until you ARE broken. Do you know why? Because the God you speak with in tears desires every part of you, not just pieces of you.  I, your God, desire your uninhibited worship without restraint – regardless of life’s ever changing situations and circumstances. I want your good and bad, pains and hurts, successes and failures, highs and lows – I want ALL of you!

So get broken, get so broken that you cry, get so broken that you grow weary, and get so broken that you question everything – Why??? Because it’s in your state of brokenness that I, your strong and mighty God can reveal my glory to, in and through you!  In your brokenness, I am able to prune, pick, pluck, pour and produce what I desire for you.

You are my beloved child. I am NOT far from you but instead – I am always near. Closer in your broken times than you realize so keep searching yourself, keep looking at your own heart, keep coming to me with each question, all your tears and every fear.  Your brokenness allows me to continuously shape you, make you, mold and sculpt you. Your brokenness produces a greater perspective of me, your life’s purpose, greater love, more hope, deeper compassion, the ability to forgive over and over again, the openness to help others in need, faith to believe me at my word and to act on that which you believe! KNOW I am here and will never leave you nor forsake you”.

Essentially, what I heard this morning was that true freedom – ultimate liberation comes from my ability to NOT look at being broken (be it a moment or many moments) as bad or horrible but instead, to embrace my broken state so that I may allow true healing, development and constant continual growth. I am encouraged this morning to allow the pressures that lead to brokenness to develop this diamond into a priceless and rather rare gem and I pray you do the same.

PRAYER:

Father God in heaven, the one who was, who is and is to come, my strength, my provider, my shield and my rock; hear me this day as I simply thank you for holding me, caring for me, and loving me unconditionally. Break me simply to mend me for Your glory. Help me to believe even in weariness and rough times that You are still God, on the throne. Help me to do Your will despite my fleshly insistence to do things my way. Help me NOT try to avoid brokenness but to trust that even the pain is working together for good. Thank You for granting me the security to be vulnerable.  Thank You for creating in me a clean heart and for granting me a renewed spirit. In You do I trust and submit this prayer humbly, In Christ name, Amen