Typically you would expect me to come with some rhythmic, thematic poem, a melodic song or a bible verse that somehow relates to my life but today I simply share what’s in my heart and on my mind.
It may or may not make sense. I t may or may not inspire. It may or may not rhyme but today I simply share my voice in a deeply connected disconnected, functionally dysfunctional transparent and a most ironically sincere way.
The last four years of my life have yielded reflections of agony, torment, un-forgiveness, bitterness, loneliness and lowliness. I’ve worn a smile to cover some of my deepest issues and pains. I tried loving myself more and often finding that my actions were no reflection of what I thought. I tried to hide my outward appearance because for too long, far too many others judged the pages never reading the content…they simply made inferences based on the cover.
There was a period in time when I decided to be someone else or maybe there were several periods where I concealed my identity with anger, make-up, smiles, glittery jewels, business suits, loving others more than myself and trying way too hard to please way to many people. As I write these words I am literally having a flashback to the days before I married my now ex-husband. Who was I to love him more than I loved myself? Who was I to allow him to project his thoughts and feelings on me? Who was I to try and get him to love me for me? Why did I work so hard to please him?
Honestly, I was an insecure, easily guided and certainly misguided young woman who lacked confidence and an understanding of self. As I walked outside today, I learned that the more I learn the more I realize I still have so much to learn. Why rush growing up when really in essence you are growing up all your life. Why try to fall in love when love is always in the atmosphere waiting to infect a heart or two. Why be so eager to solve someone else’s issues when you have yet to grasp your own?
So today, Stacie told Stacie:
1. Live up to your own expectations
2. Be kind, not because you are forced to but because much like love, kindness flows through the air waiting to infect
3. Love yourself with a deep, passionate, conviction that out last the love of another; for when you master this love, true love will meet you in the air, infecting every area of your being
4. Open your mind to something new day by day, moment by moment
And these are my thoughts for this day…
“Only in love are unity and duality not in conflict”
– Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941); poet, playwright, essayist